I ain't no Celine

For years, my friends, boyfriends and cats suffered in silence. They attended, as a nun would attend a leprosy's patient, the numerous displays of my singing talent in my basement, in karoke events, and I do have a friend who still remembers, I'm sure, my epic version of "Proud Mary", Tina's version, with a live band, at a random bar on the South Shore of Montreal...

I always loved music and it was with great pleasure that I started putting on some shows for Victoria. She got from her aunt a great rattle, how convenient, in a shape of a microphone. Well, it's actually a flower, but it's a mic and I'm a professional singer, don't piss on my parade.

She has already developped a taste for the BeeGees and especially liked the version of Summer Nights that her dad and I put together in the living room. She hears music, makes some noises, shakes her legs, smiles; she's a happy bunny. But that was until yesterday.

At around 4pm yesterday, my life changed forever. We were happily listening to a random Galaxy's station and I suddenly got verrrrrry excited at the news that the next song was from Celine Dion.

ME: Victoria, oh you're going to love this one! It's Celiiiiiine!
HER: Who?
ME: It's Celine (Now standing up, mic in hand). And oh, yes sir, it's an old one. Way back, before, well forget it, I'll tell you all about it later.
HER: Yeah, yeah... whatever
ME: (Starting the first notes...)
HER: ARE YOU MENTAL? Why the hell are you screaming for?
ME: (Now singing louder)
HER: Waaaaaaaaaaaa Stop it now waaaaaaa this is terrible! I was amused but now it's just painfull and pathetic...waaaaaa...

I know now for sure, I ain't no Celine...